Don't Think Again

While Japan is clearly developed country, both economically and culturally, I fail to understand the prejudices that prevail here. Brazilian nikkei who were invited in by the Japanese government a couple of decades ago are now being offered money to go back and become some other country's problem. A detailed story can be found here . This is yet another discovery.

I was just considering whether I should put this blog's address up on my QR code business card. After all, this is a pretty difficult site to find, and even though I identify myself, you might find very embarrasing stuff on some posts. So, should I put it there or not? After all, I don't want to upset anyone, but I do want to keep my freedom to write freely. So I started to look at it from a different angle: there are people that would get mad at me, or that would think worst of me because of what I write; but I believe those people won't bother to read me, or even to search my archives in order to find poorly written posts. My lack of popularity is like a warm cover that gives me freedom on the internet, but I do want people with interest on me to be able to read this. The answer to my dilemma is: yes. I'll put it up on my business card, and I'll keep writing with the same spirit I've always had (ok, I don't have a single spirit, but you get my drift). ...

I used to share a place with some friends, back in Brazil some years ago. At first we didn't have a router, but we had an internet connection, and wanted to share it through our laptops over WiFi. That was when I discovered this possibility. Nowadays I have an iPhone, and I didn't buy unlimited internet over 3G, so it came handy to share my laptop's internet connection to the iPhone. Actually, you can access your internet connection without any extra piece of hardware, and you'll be able to use from your iPhone, iPod Touch or any other device that has a wireless card. What do you need? Laptop or desktop with WiFi (wireless) card. I'll call this the #1 device. Internet connection working on your #1 device. An iPhone, iPod Touch or something that has wireless capabilities. I'll call this the #2 device. Some patience. Rest assured that you don't have to be a geek to get through this. A friend of mine bought a Macbook last week, and was able to share her home co...

This blog isn't really closely related to anything, so I'll just post this to whomever wants to see it... It's a japanese production featuring realistic rabbits and animals engaging in realistic warfare. It's called Cat Shit One. Amazing.

My dearest new friends of Japan might find this a little weird, but I'm shrinking. Moving 20.000km around the globe is just the smallest part of the changes I'm going through (and I'm sure you'll know what I mean). However, that "changing" or "becoming" aren't really changes at all, but rather could be expressed by mathematical expressions. Not additions, but subtractions. Stuff I thought I knew for sure, now have become increasingly less believable. My so-called "core", has shrinked so as to become nearly invisible. I'm invisible now. I'm just another guy, like anybody else on the street, be they japanese, american or brazilian. Weird as it may sound, I've even lost my sense of connection to genre: meaning I can relate and identify to male and female points of view. I'm no one.

This is a very sad story, but there's nothing I can do about it. That's just the way the story goes. Once upon a time, in a far away land... There was a young man called Wha Tever. Even though the Tever family had never been poor, they were never even close to anythig you'd call rich. Wha had, against all odds, grown into a very respected man, an even managed to improve his own social status. Not that this was his objective, but rather it was more of a collateral effect, so to speak. Wha wanted to see the the world. One day, Wha decided to go around the world, and see with his own eyes, feel with his own hands and talk with his own words. But who would've guessed that the people of the world didn't really care about the money? They told Mr. Tever to go back home, and don't come back until he could speak properly. What the people of the world meant by "properly" still unclear of this day.

I was listening a song on youtube today, and part of the lyrics go likes this: "the world spins and brings everything back to its place". I couldn't disagree more, I would say the exact opposite: the world takes everything away from its "place". You're walking around on a sunny day, just wondering how it would be so nice to talk to "that" girl. Next day you look at her and just doesn't know what you were thinking (I just wanted to make sure you're not thinking she was ugly and I was drunk or anything, it's the other way around, actually). I wouldn't want if she wasn't into me. What can I do? I guess she'd go along if I'd tried to do my thing, but I don't like doing my thing just for kicks. I really put my heart into it. It wouldn't feel good for me, I'd probably feel violated. No, sorry, I won't do it.

The word doesn't quite explain the way it feels. Even so, maybe I simply chose the wrong word. That happens a lot when you're trying to express yourself in another language. Still, compared to Japanese, my English skills are pretty good. Now try to imagine what I'd sound like speaking Japanese. What's missing isn't something as frivolous as the names of the streets, or the familiar faces. From that point of view, I respect myself. It is not about sex, the taste of the beer or the weather either. My mojo must be hiding somewhere around here. After all, there is no way to lose who you are. If there was, I'd probably try out.

Last week I was talking to a newly found friend about this experience we're going through together. I was just talking to her, without thinking, and it so happened that I mentioned something about hiding my happiness. Sometimes I forget just how weird I am. How could I explain this to someone? It's so personal, and so related to subtle understanding and mutual comprehension that I couldn't possibly hope to build an explanation. An explanation would be completely out of order, and would certainly miss the point. Unless, it wasn't required from the start. But I'm oversimplifying. There are useful explanations, of course. And I feel really sorry that I didn't give a more thoroughly charming speech. Friends are friends, after all, and you can't make friends just by wanting to. Friendship is found and followed, rather than built or accomplished. Actually it could be considered just as selfish as anything else... you don't do it for your friends, but bec...

Maybe the reason why I like to hear the same song over and over is so that I won't feel the time go by. Rainy days are actually losing points with me, simply because of today. I just thought of giving up and going back. A slim thought, but still. Just keep doing the things you do. Just keep doing what's expected. Weird, isn't it? Is anything actually expected of me? That's not really a problem, at least not my problem... What is the problem then? Is there a problem? Maybe there aren't answers. Maybe there aren't any questions. Maybe what I'm asking myself isn't just about words. Asking about what can you make of a situation. How can this work? Is it difficult? What are the possibilities? You'll never find out by thinking, that's for sure. Only trial and error are gonna do it for you, pal.

Let me tell you a little about Japan. It is a fantastic country, and I'm sure it must be quite an experience to live in Tokyo, but Kyoto is something else. It hasn't been destroyed by any wars, but still all of the urban apparatus is very modern. When I was flying over here, the pilot announced over the speaker that the cherry (桜) blossoms had started, and I heard a commotion throughout the plane. It feels even better than Christmas when you're seven years-old. As it gets hotter, because of the end of the winter, the cherry trees start to blossom gradually from the southernmost islands and spreading to the north. Actually going to the riverside and sitting by eating and talking feels like a new beginning for the japanese (and I guess it catched on to me). The trees turn completely pink:   People go on picnics with their friends, then with their families, then with guys from work... and they eat. There's even a saying that goes: 花より団子. It reads something like ...

Feels like I've just been struck bu lightning. I've realized how small and unprepared I am for such a huge adventure. I feel frightened. I started thinking of my last days in Brazil, and it's sensations. The soft skin touching my hands, the humid breath on my neck, the pressure of her chest against mine. My life was all in place, and I chose to break it apart. I didn't hate it, if that's what you're thinking. On the contrary, I've loved every second of it. I don't regret anything, and I wouldn't want to change my past. Not even one bit. So I took this beautiful comfortable life and took it to the next level. If you're reading this, you already know just how much change hurts. Any child knows how change hurts. There aren't any shortcuts, or even any sedative. If you can't feel it, it isn't happening. This is what I want. Whis is what I have to do. And it hurts like hell. I've always thought of human beings as complete and...

This exchange thingy has been deep inside my skin for some time now. Actually, at first what I wanted was to know to world, see different cultures and - well - different ladies, of course. I dismissed the "tourism option" right away for several reasons... I'm not so rich as to be able to travel worldwide with my own money, and I also didn't want to have that kind of relationship to the world: Fred, the big tourist. The following option was to get a job at one of those huge companies who would send me around the world to do business. Didn't want that either, and the reason's that I wouldn't be able to do what I want. I would simply be another corporate slave: making loads of money, traveling for free, but never on my own schedule. You must've noticed that I'm like Sinatra, I wanna do things My Way . I wanted to be outside of Brazil, but not for the sightseeing. My motivation was always pure: I wanted to feel what it is like to live in a differen...

I'm just gonna spill away what happened this last week, ok? No strings attached. I finally got on a plane from Brasília: to Guarulhos (took about 80 minutes): and then, after sitting for eight hours on the airport, from Guarulhos to Toronto... and you'll just have to believe me when I say this flight was actually quite fun, even though it took about twelve hours. We took about two hours to take off, counting from the instant I got on the plane. So, before we were even in the air, I was already chatting with this really nice girl beside me. :-) She would take the next flight along with me to Vancouver. But it so happened that I didn't actually sit nedt to her on this 5-hour flight. I sat next to Mike. He's a Canadian gentleman who was headed for China to have some fun, and I ended up giving him a R$ 2,00 bill as a souvenir. Then I had lunch at a chinese restaurant inside the airport, and the food was terribly delicious (maybe because I was terribly hungry). ...

Here I am. There are about 8 or 9 different currencies in my possession right now. I can drink tap water, and it tastes good too.The city where I live looks like Ouro Preto , and is also a historical city, but with japanese college students instead. I walked around a little bit and saw a girl with a very strong voice training soccer with kids that must be about 9 or 10 years old. Found my way to the university, just to be sure, and bought something to eat while coming back. Then I got to the PC and fired up a site called jisho.org , and started to slowly translate the parts I couldn't understand about how I'd cook the meal I just bought. While I waited for the food, I started downloading this TV show, and it's been downloaded at approximately 1875% of my usual download speed. Oops! Something's happening with the food... I have to check it, but I'll write about the trip on the next post.

The last post was mostly about getting your hands dirty, getting to work and becoming something (or someone) else. I'm about to set off on a particularly emblematic trip tomorrow morning, and this trip feels like the ending of a very important stage of my life, and - of course! - the beginning of a very promising "new life", so to speak. These are merely random thoughts that come to mind right now. Don't take them for granted. Don't think it's carved in stone either. When somebody tells you something you want is impossible, pay attention. Nevermind the "impossible" part, but listen carefully. That person is gonna tell you how he/she failed. Listen and learn. You don't need a clear image of what you want. In fact, I strongly recommend you to stop basing your thinking on images. Knowing what you don't want is enough to start with. Build on top of it, based on your own experiences. Don't borrow too many ideas from other people. Don...

I wish there was a straightforward way to show how serious I am about this: choose your dreams carefully. Most people nowadays live long enough to accomplish a lot of work, and I recommend you to employ your work to improve yourself. I'm not talking about working out and getting a sleek body. You were born. It happened somewhere on this planet, so you have a house, a family, a country... an apparatus or a mechanism attached to your head or body. Old ways, old methods, old habits. This is as much a part of yourself as your heart, mind, feelings and soul. There is no pure immortal soul hidden inside you somewhere. Sorry. You're from this place, there's dirt all over you and you're made from this dirt. I might sound a little pessimistic, but that's not true. When you dream, you're basically reorganizing the world. You're making slight changes to the mechanism that was attached to you. As far as I'm concerned, choosing your dreams carefully will irrevers...