Don't Think Again

Maybe you're wondering what I've been up to lately, and I must answer with: my MUM! Why, we've been having an awesome time here in Japan. On one hand, I must admit my oh-so-very-dear alone time is been overlooked for now, for a good cause, but overlooked indeed. On the other hand, my very own perception of Japan has changed a lot, as I finally allowed myself to slip into tourist mode and see Japan through my mother's eyes. As one might expect, my mother does speak some English and no Japanese. I must be fair, though: she has perfect English comprehension, but her speaking ability still has some room for improvement. What was terribly interesting to watch was her getting around the language barrier in ways I couldn't have conceived of myself. She would have entire conversations with people in stores about all sorts of stuff without anything but lots of pointing, making faces, body language ing and a few keywords. I kid you not: she utterly ignores the ...

I like this stuff.

I had no reason to look forward to see Tokyo. I mean no harm, but all I could remember was São Paulo's (a city of about the same size as Tokyo) chaos: building sites everywhere, a lot of people everywhere, noise everywhere, expensive stuff everywhere. But I did go there last week, and just walking around  in Shinjuku, Shibuya and Harajuku reminded me of what I used to love about São Paulo. In a split second, all of my good moments flooded my mind and I was literally forced to realize how nice it would be to live in Tokyo. But I'm not moving anytime soon. I simply changed my mind from a state of hate towards huge urban centers and back into its indifference. I care so little about the city I live in, I think i could live anywhere.

There's a white screen waiting to be filled every time I sit down to write. A "tabula rasa" that will accept all that is thrown at it, never questioning me or my motives. Those motives, as I've tried to convey before and intend to keep trying, are still very unclear to me. Whatever they may be, a person is not like a screen waiting to be filled, but that does happen all the time. As a fallible human being, my own life is a short story of working with what was given to me, and - then again - moulding it and folding it into whatever direction I chose. The concept of a tabula rasa, a white canvas, on which we simply draw upon is present not only in Fine Arts or Literature, but also in psychology. That's what an infant is seen as in some schools of thought: a white canvas that will be drawn upon by society. I believe the focus on this concept can't be stressed as much these days, since now we have DNA and all sorts of science taking up the space that once belonged...

I don't mean to compare them with relationships, because they're completely different beasts. Friendships are in a league of their own. Good friends can support you in situations you'd rather not have your family involved. They can also hold you back when you're changing. Now, me, I'm somewhat of a specialist in change. It will probably still hurt and resistance is always in order, but I've changed so much over the course of my life that I just can't imagine myself stuck in a situation I know I need to get out of. I don't even complain about whether I'm changing or not anymore. I know I'm gonna take the leap sooner or later. Some friends - the rare type - will actually help you go through the process of change, whatever it is. Learning a language is one such example: changing from not understanding it to full comprehension; more specifically, turning it into a non-issue. The efforts required to learn a foreign language are just the same you take ...