Reasons to give up on relationships (even if temporarily)
The first and foremost being that I have been in and out of relationships for most of my adult life. That's still a personal reason, but that's simply how it started. A very close friend brought that simple fact to my attention some years ago: "you're always with someone".
Sure I am. Why shouldn't I? I thought at the time.
Not only do I enjoy human interaction in general, but I'm also completely taken aback by the intensity of feeling and emotion one can experience face to face with someone they can love. There's nothing that gets even close - drugs included - to that feeling of a gorgeous, HOT, intelligent, interesting and HORNY girl looking straight into your eyes as you see her lips becoming red from the flow of blood from the excitement. Can't stop thinking about what else is blushing.
Having learned to be a good boy, it was always a given that horny means romantic means sex means relationship. Just like that: an automatic chain reaction that supposedly happens naturally.
Thus I followed what I had learned to the hilt. I did indeed try to transform every single romantic interaction I had into a relationship situation of sorts. The good in it is that I can be a very good "lover" in the snap of a finger. I know all the ropes of being in a relationship... so much it even hurts.
The downside, besides feeling awful every time I desired someone else, was that I ended up getting in relationships that I didn't necessarily want. Think about that not only from my perspective, but from the perspective of the women I was it. Would you like to be in an autopilot relationship? If you were in such a relationship, would you have the guts to jump out?
The process of unwiring all of my bad mental loops about relationships has been long, and has happened mostly in the dark corners of my mind, far away from my conscious thoughts.
People tend to think that relationships are worth being in just for the sake of it. I have to disagree and point out just how much using a relationship as a crutch can hinder the growth of both the lovers.
In no particular order:
The question I ask is: how to get all of what's offered in the relationship package without having to wrap yourself around that false sense of security provided by labeling something as a relationship?
Sure I am. Why shouldn't I? I thought at the time.
Not only do I enjoy human interaction in general, but I'm also completely taken aback by the intensity of feeling and emotion one can experience face to face with someone they can love. There's nothing that gets even close - drugs included - to that feeling of a gorgeous, HOT, intelligent, interesting and HORNY girl looking straight into your eyes as you see her lips becoming red from the flow of blood from the excitement. Can't stop thinking about what else is blushing.
Having learned to be a good boy, it was always a given that horny means romantic means sex means relationship. Just like that: an automatic chain reaction that supposedly happens naturally.
Thus I followed what I had learned to the hilt. I did indeed try to transform every single romantic interaction I had into a relationship situation of sorts. The good in it is that I can be a very good "lover" in the snap of a finger. I know all the ropes of being in a relationship... so much it even hurts.
The downside, besides feeling awful every time I desired someone else, was that I ended up getting in relationships that I didn't necessarily want. Think about that not only from my perspective, but from the perspective of the women I was it. Would you like to be in an autopilot relationship? If you were in such a relationship, would you have the guts to jump out?
The process of unwiring all of my bad mental loops about relationships has been long, and has happened mostly in the dark corners of my mind, far away from my conscious thoughts.
People tend to think that relationships are worth being in just for the sake of it. I have to disagree and point out just how much using a relationship as a crutch can hinder the growth of both the lovers.
In no particular order:
- Being in a relationship is comfortable. Comfort will keep you from doing what you know you should.
- The bad times and breakups tend to be terribly painful.
- The good times and "love birds" moments are mostly two people being clingy, needy and feeding off of each others neediness.
- Love (in English) is a word with too much meaning attached to it. Love is supposed to be unselfish. What most people call love is either infatuation or neediness.
- Connection, rapport, comfort, attraction, arousal and love are but chemical reactions and electric pulses firing in your brain. They aren't created by the other person, but rather by yourself. It can be practiced, and then done in a matter of minutes.
- How much have you limited your own impulses, desires and plans (not just talking about sex, here) because they apparently didn't fit what your "other half" had in mind?
The question I ask is: how to get all of what's offered in the relationship package without having to wrap yourself around that false sense of security provided by labeling something as a relationship?
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